Saturday, May 16, 2015

nobody in my family ever overreacts: So You Want To Buy A Camper

nobody in my family ever overreacts: So You Want To Buy A Camper

So You Want To Buy A Camper

Thankfully Jason's vacation time was approved. Now on to the next little hiccup. We did not own a camper with which to travel the country. Just a minor detail. No biggie. (A cost analysis had already determined that staying in a hotel was not cost effective... excluding the cost of *buying* a camper. Which would be amortized over the course of at least three major vacations. Plus all the other fun family times we would spend in our camper. Therefore making it not as costly as one might think. Please note: One of my strengths is that I can rationalize anything given enough determination.)

So I know there are some of you who are undoubtedly thinking, "Why do you need a camper? What's wrong with a tent?". No. No. Nope. No. Before our stay-cation, during which this entire plot was hatched, we stayed in a tent for three nights in the Black Hills. Another one of Jason's dreams. He's got a lot of dreams. Let it suffice to say that I did not enjoy staying in a tent. Or setting up a tent. Or tearing down a tent. Or when the tent leaked in the middle of the night during a thunderstorm. Or that the tent was like a sauna. I could honestly go on and on. There will be no tent on this trip.

Based on the tent trip I had a short list of things I required in a camper. 1-Separate space for everyone. Full-time separate spaces. None of this, "Marcus sleeps on the table that converts to a bed." Because what happens in the middle of dinner when Marcus has a grand mal trantrum and needs to be alone? I suppose he could sit in the tub. But that's not very practical. One thing that I've learned over the last several years is that little boys need their own space. Plus I'm not making beds up every day. All beds will remain operational and made at all times. 2-Climate control is necessary. I do not do well if I'm too hot. Or too cold. Or feeling sticky with humidity. I understand that all of these things will happen in nature, but I'm more concerned with the *after* nature portion of our days. Over the course of this trip we will be going from needing heat in Glacier to being in the sweltering desert at a place called Valley of Fire. And obviously needing air conditioning. 3-A bathroom. Specifically a toilet. I hope this is self explanatory. 4- Not hideous finishes. I understand that the upholstery won't affect the actual trip. But I don't want to be trapped in 100 square feet with a bunch of ugly for 30 days. I just don't.

And so it began. It was like a full-time job. Thankfully I was recovering from surgery and the kids had all started school so I could truly devote an inordinate amount of time to being on the internet.  I had to check Craigslist, a half-dozen camper dealers, and sites devoted especially to used campers, several times a day.

I knew our budget. I knew we needed four beds and curtains that weren't ugly. So to me, our options were virtually unlimited. Turns out there a lot of things to consider when buying a camper. None of which I was remotely interested in. All of which were, in actuality, critical. Length adds to weight and can make it harder to control. And we HAD to stay under some weight number printed in the engine of the Yukon. But not just under that number. Under that number with the camper FULLY loaded. There's something about tongue weight and weight distributing hitches and sway bars. And lots of numbers. So many weights that had to be just so. Jason slowly but surely made it through all the internet had to offer on the various subjects and a few more restrictions were added to my search. This whittled down our options significantly. We looked at several campers locally but none of them were quite what Jason now had in his mind as acceptable. We were suddenly considering driving to Michigan or Kentucky to get just the right camper, at just the right price. Things had clearly escalated quickly. We were obsessed. I cried at least twice over campers that "slipped through our fingers". Yeah.

Finally a camper came available that met all our expectations including price. And we only had to drive to Omaha. Phew. I don't know if I would have actually gotten into the car to drive to Kentucky. Jason definitely would have. He has dreams you know.

So we were off to Omaha on a day trip fully expecting to be dragging a camper back with us. We checked out the camper. Made a list of things that needed to be fixed and made an appointment to go back in a couple weeks to do a final walk through/around. The excitement was palpable. We were going to buy a camper! WE WERE GOING TO BUY A CAMPER AND DRIVE AROUND THE UNITED STATES FOR 30 DAYS! Oh man. Wait. What?! Things just got real. We needed to figure out how to camp.   

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